Losing Gary is like losing a beloved brother. His depth of knowledge of this important subject and dedication to teaching it, all laced with his ever present humour, made him a joy to work with.
He listened carefully to men who were reporting unaccounted for sexual dysfunctions and diminished interest in real partners when no one else was making a connection to the now readily available, high speed internet porn. He diligently sought out and dissected the academic literature as it rolled out and inspired users to consider experimenting with quitting porn to release them from the impairments compulsive use of porn was causing them. He combined that theoretical knowledge of porn-induced brain changes with the good news, real life stories of users who had quit porn to produce the life saving TEDx talk in 2012 "The Great Porn Experiment". His remarkable teaching prowess became the inspiration for our education charity, "The Reward Foundation - Love, Sex & the Internet". We wanted to help spread the priceless information mined by Gary that users were not lost and broken, but could free themselves from the treacherous siren calls of Internet porn.
Gary loved Marnia with a tenderness and devotion that is rare, and he had a similar love for his beloved son Arion. I count myself fortunate to have known him as a friend and colleague for many years. He will be deeply missed. I find some comfort in knowing that his great work will live on to help many others and that we can feel like he is still with is by listening to the many talks, videos and podcasts that he made. Farewell, dear friend and teacher.
I have been hearing this music in my head since Gary left us. It is called “Sicilienne” by an eighteenth century Austrian woman composer called Theresia von Paradis. I like to think that she has come from paradise to bring Gary home.